A New Milestone :(

Last night my dad didn't know who I was for the first time.  Or who HE was.  And I was strangely not that bothered by it.  Now I am questioning if I am somehow out of touch or not processing it. That isn't my intuition, but I do tend to overthink things.  Yes, it is very sad, but I think there are a few reasons it didn't hit me that hard.  One is that I knew that day would come as a natural progression of Alzheimer's.  Not sure how big that one is though, as I have heard so many people say they knew the death of a loved one was coming, but nothing prepares you for the actual event.  I think another part of it is being here with him full time, meaning there is nothing more I could have done to share this last part of his life.  Another big part is that I know these states come and go.  He is often more confused at night, which is common with Alzheimer's.  Which also ties back to living with him, because I see the ebbs and flows.  I would probably be more likely to feel a mental state as more "permanent" if I was encountering it on a short visit to a nursing home, and indeed, it is more likely that *would* be the case if I only saw  him on visits!  Still, it felt like a very huge and sad milestone, so I wanted to record it as part of this journey.