Lost Memories

Today I am wishing I had done more to get my dad talking about the past but also thankful for as much as I did.  I have several video and audio clips, and some nights I would bring the computer to the table and transcribe things.  I am hoping to make a little book for his grandkids of the stories I do have.  Lately I am finding more and more of his memories just seem to be gone.  When I ask him about specific stories, he doesn't seem to remember them at all.  Other times, it might come back to him in a few minutes or later that day.  He does a couple interesting things...

Sometimes it is just a matter of "finding a longer path".  That is how I think of it anyway.  We know our thoughts are basically made up of electronic pathways in the brain, and I think what happens in dementia is that one starts losing those paths.  But if I can find a different association, sometimes my dad will remember the thing he said he couldn't at first.  For example, we have a long time family friend named Mary.  She is the main person my dad remembered and talked about from his old friends, probably because he has seen her many times over the years since my mom died.  Most of the time now, though, he says he doesn't know who she is, but if I get him thinking about the time they went on a road trip to visit state capitals with friends, including Mary, he is often able to recall her.

It is particularly amusing when he comes back to me about half an hour later, saying, "Hey do you remember Mary?"  I think this is related and an example of a reeeally long pathway.  Or maybe some other type of percolation is happening, and it just takes him that long to sort out all the pieces.

I have been joking with Ron I should include a Big Fish section in the Life Story book.  If you  have never seen that movie, I highly recommend it.  Like with many old people, my dad's stories have become more and more outlandish and exaggerated.  Some of the ways he tells the stories now I am pretty sure are inaccurate.  It doesn't really matter of course, but I would like the book to be at least as true to life as I can get it.  But I think there is also validity in the mistellings, and there are possibly even "messages" as to how his mind works.

Life, it's a work in progress...